Crossing the Rubicon

Sad fact. Crossing the Rubicon comes from the moment in Roman History, when Julius Caesar crossed from being the protector of the Roman republic, to it's conquering emperor. It was literally the point when his legions crossed a shallow river in north east Italy, called "Rubicon", which the Senate regarded as an act of war, a sort of revolutionary or political point of no return, so to speak.

But you knew that, didn't you?

What this has to do with AMCs Rubicon, now showing on BBC4, (freeview's home of quality foreign drama), Feck knows.

But that might be the point - it's conspiracy drama number two this year (after the "who can be arsed with it anymore?" Event).

This is a bit more low key and subtle, playing out like one of those magnificent 70's conspiracy thrillers, like All the President's Men , the Parallax View and the like.

Will Travers(James Badge Dale from The Pacific) is an intelligence analyst with a think-tank called the American Policy Institute, which advises the State Department on exactly what the bloody hell is going on across the world.

Y'know, they're the sort of weirdo smart-arses that before last Christmas would have said "see that North Africa...revolutions in the spring. Guaranteed. Maybe even Libya too..", while the rest of us would have been going "Shut-up!" (like some of the characters from The only way is Essex)

Will's boss gets killed in the first episode, and he gets promoted. At that point, he gradually realises he works for some immensely strange and creepy people, and they might actually be up to no good (as my mother would say).

.
The Rubicon of the title may refer to the extent of the conspiracy itself, which may actually be akin to Caesar's challenge to the Republic (y'see? I don't just sit down at my computer and throw this shit together, y'know - it's crafted I tell you, crafted)

But...
Rubicon has already been cancelled in the states. And there's a good reason why. I'll give you a clue. Watch that trailer again with the sound off. Now mentally ignore the jump cuts (the trailer editor's way of injecting immediacy into a story) and the partially sped-up panning shots (which don't happen in the programme). Then take away the only real action shot at the end (the train hurtling towards you). What do you have left? Lots of scenes of Will Travers shitting on about something. And scribbling lots of notes. And looking a bit moody and constipated and in need of a haircut. Oh and there's a few shots of his secretary/PA Maggie Young (played by Jessica Collins) looking chic with nice hair.

Yup, there is no action to speak of. I tried watching Rubicon previously, but (time to 'fess up here) I fell asleep halfway through the second episode.

That's not a great recommendation is it? but I think the best is yet to come with the show on BBC4 - it may well be worth sticking with. Take a look at this...

http://youtu.be/wf1-778Uh54

(youtube won't let me embed it - click on it, it's worth watching the clip all the way through). Superb dialogue. And as the West Wing proved, dialogue heavy shows can make cracking viewing.

This time, I swear I'll stick with it, without my GLW nudging me in the ribs to wake me up. I'll report back on it soon.

What a non event

Just a short update right now. I've got 4 episodes of "the Event" on my PVR. They've been sitting there, unloved, like a jumble sale in the rain (it's not good, it's not right)...10 points if you can guess that lyric.
Anyway, I can't be bothered to watch another episode.

Why did the Event go so wrong, so quickly?

It's not brain surgery, folks. After the initial episodes, with some serious spectacle, we had to put up with an extended road trip, a dithery wimp President who couldn't decide whether the aliens were his friends or not, and even a giant building collapse couldn't help it.....and, and....I can't be bothered to write any more about it.

It won't be missed.

Law and Order UK, explained to a US audience....

I had to bring you this.

The UK version of Law and Order (which we saw on ITV1) - now showing on BBC America HD. For US readers, it's like the Law and Order you know and love...but more like a good solid pair of british Y fronts, the type of pants that helped win the war for blighty. This trailer explains briliantly...



(translation: pants = underwear, Blighty = Britain and even though the trailer says Knackers are what you would call pants, they're actually testicles).

Feel the Burn (Notice)

I've held off from reviewing Burn Notice so far, because I'm embarrassed I'm so far behind (the GLW got me Season 2 for my birthday, which I'm watching on my daily commute, and loving every single second).

Burn Notice. My friend Adam recommended it to me years ago, and to my shame, I never quite got round to seeking it out. I mean, it hasn't exactly got a title that jumps up and bites you on the cojones has it?

And then while I was flicking through my digital channels this year, I stumbled across it. Those idiots at Fiver (almost as stupid a name for a channel as SyFy) had plonked it secretly, and randomly, on the Thursday night schedule, (which is kinda appropriate for a spy show) and then proceeded to show the first two seasons in one go.

So what's it about? Watch and learn, friends, watch and learn....

So, superspy Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan) is on a search to find out who got a Burn Notice placed on him - and as the video above says, it's not just a matter of being sacked. Westen is frozen out, left penniless, blacklisted, oh, and his movements are limited to the greater Miami area. If he tries to leave the city to hunt down his tormentors, they'll send a hit squad out to kill him.

So, he has to take on odd-jobs - mostly undercover stuff - for peanuts, to cobble together the cash to pay people to find out information. He sort of has a client of the week, so to speak.

I know, I know, I know, It sounds like Magnum PI with a spy twist.

What sets Burn Notice apart, is what I call the "useful spy shit" you learn every episode. For example:



Evil, but superb.

I can't get enough of these! Bam! lets have another one!



Every episode of the show is peppered with these little gems of wisdom. Are they real? Who knows?

Do they work? Let's see.....



This shit works, man ...awesome, dudes......I particularly like the imaginative use of an oven glove, and the mess they made of mom's kitchen (not forgetting dad's toolbox).

With all this "useful spy shit" every epsiode, I can just about forgive the Michael Westen character for being a bit overconfident and pompous at times.

It's funny, but his type of character seems to be almost exclusively popular in the USA. Indulge me for a second - consider Seinfeld, or any character played by Adam Sandler, or even Ray Romano's character in Everybody Loves Raymond. All comedy examples, sure, but they all have a single unifying trait.

At the end of the day, they're smug, want to be smartest guy in the room, and someone else ends up being the butt of their jokes. It doesn't travel well, particularly in the UK, where we don't have a soft spot for - how can I put it? - arrogant dickheads.

And the character of Michael Westen would fall into this category if it wasn't for the brilliant supporting characters who are his weakness. He wants to be the aloof superspy, and he clearly left Miami years ago (Grosse pointe blank-style) to reinvent himself, but unfortunately, he cares about his friends and family.

And what a lineup! Gabrielle Anwar is unrecognisable here from her early 1990s soppy roles, as Michael's trigger-and-bomb-happy, former-terrorist ex-girlfriend, Fiona (and I thought some of my ex-girlfriends were psycho......) It's a dream of a part for any actress, and she's brilliant at it.

Bruce Campbell  (the main man of the Evil Dead movies - and also one of my favourites, Bubba Ho-tep) is also fantastic as Michael's gone-to-seed green beret friend, Sam. And the third, and finest casting coup was getting Sharon Gless (yes, Cagney herself) to play Michael's mum.

At different times, you can almost feel Westen's exasperation with the demands of these three (in Sam's case, it's usually financial, and in the case of Fiona and his mum, emotional, which, frankly, is not good for a spy). And yet, he needs their help to find out who burned him. 

The one part that is unconvincing is when Michael Westen goes undercover. The actor Jeffrey Donovan, bless him, is useless at accents. His British accent is mind-bendingly bad, his texan one is OTT-mental and he can't even do a Boston accent....

But if you ignore that, the show's packed full of explosions, Miami locations, sharp editing, smart suits, sexy laydeez, and I say again, "useful spy shit"....no wonder the USA network boasts that Burn Notice is the number one cable show in the USA.

Oh...go on then, let's have one more useful spy tip.....



Just brilliant. I could listen to this stuff all day.

By the way, if you've missed it, Fiver's showing it again, right from Season 1, Episode 1, at 8pm on Monday 20th December onwards.

Dexter Season 5 OhmyGod OhmyGod Ohmygod!

Another thing I love about Dexter is that each time you watch the show, you think "surely they can't up the ante on the previous season?" but by heck, they do each time. (Spoiler Alert) Check out this latest trailer for season 5...



For regular fans of the show, I'm sure you'll agree that there comes a point in each season where you kinda feel the writers are treading water, where the web of storylines and characters are still moving into place....then about three-quarters of the way through the season, there's a big reveal ....

For example, last year, it was a good 'un:



Ok, that's a bit of a rubbishy vid, obviously taped from someone's telly, but you get my point - and the youtube comments attached to it sum up many viewers feelings about the dropped bombshell.

To quote Kabo3lives on youtube,  "I flipped my shit when I saw this. No lie". Quite. 

But this year, each episode has had me on the edge of my seat. The latest one I watched (episode 9) was a fairly quiet one, by Dexter standards, with Dex having to reveal far too much to the police about what he's up to, when his stepdaughter Astor goes missing. It seems to end sweetly, with Dex as family man,  But the last 1 minute of the episode was absolutely chilling. (You are gonna love it.)

This season, the writers also seem to be more comfortable than ever with the whole menagerie of characters within the Dexter universe, and have written them all meaty plotlines.

Miami Homicide is well-busy with loads of gruesome beheadings, Deb and Quinn are getting it on, (and he looks even more revolting than usual - skinny with a mahogany perma-tan, ewwwww), the dark-haired woman from the Commitments is Dex's nanny, Angel and La Guerta are probably the most troubled newlyweds I've ever seen, and she's even more insecure than ever about her job. 

There's a host of guest-stars too, clearly having the time of their lives. Julia Stiles, Jonny Lee Miller, and a fantastic Peter Weller (yep, that's right, Robocop himself), as a sleazy, drugs cop suspended for corruption, but hired by Quinn to check up on Dex, and who finds out much, much more than he bargained for.

With three episodes left of this post-Rita Season 5 left, those plotlines are now at a stage when they are intermingling, and drawing together. Once again, the net is closing around Dex, and also, this time, around a new friend he has made. Sleazy drugs cop is also beginning to realise that Dex is not a normal human being, and Dex's prey realises he's being hunted...by Dex ...and...and ....it's just magnificent.

When I reviewed this season a few weeks ago (see here) , I knew it was going to be good. So far it's even better than last years season with the Trinity killer. And even more dangerous. If that's possible.

Misfits: the ASBO X-men*

Why should clean cut, all-American familes get all the fun of super-powers (see No Ordinary Family), or cheerleaders, Japanese salarymen, chunky cops and male nurses for that matter (see Heroes). Why not a group of undeserving young scrotes, doing community service on a London housing estate, who get struck by lightning during a freak storm?. 

Yup, friends, welcome to the world of Misfits - a seriously underrated programme from E4.  Last year, the GLW and I couldn't believe that no-one else seemed to be watching it. However, this show won a BAFTA for best TV drama series, which I think came as a surprise to its creators. Well, welcome back: the second series starts this Thursday at 10 on E4.

It's unashamedly a teen drama, being mostly concerned with sex, social status and taking the piss. It's very funny, very rude, and has an increasing body count. It's also very unsentimental - the cast are just like real teenagers - thoroughly unlikeable, but a lot of fun.

There's inarticulate chavvy Kelly (Lauren Socha), slutty party girl Alisha (Antonia Thomas) and creepy weirdo Simon (Iwan Rheon) - star athlete Curtis (Nathan Stewart Jarrett) who's a decent fella, but busted for cocaine possession, and Nathan (Robert Sheehan) a cocky, irritating little turd (believe me, I'm being kind).

And their powers? Let Nathan explain the current state of play at the end of series one....



I really like the fact their powers aren't random at all, but seem to be appropriate to each character.

Curtis regrets what happened to him, and he gets the ability to turn back time.

Kelly is your typical paranoid teenager, and whatdayaknow, she can hear what people are thinking.

Alisha wants to be the fittest and most shaggable girl around - she literally drives people crazy with desire when they touch her (which she uses to get her wicked way with Curtis, who is not best pleased).

Nobody notices or listens to Simon, and he liteally becomes invisible.

And Nathan? He's just an annoying git, with a really crap life, so it's wholly appropriate that he finds out he's going to live forever (can you imagine having someone like that around you , for eternity?)

In the first series, they had virtually no control over their powers, and were fundamentally the same teenage fu*k-ups they were before. None of them suddenly wanted to be a superhero, nor did their powers make them better people. Curtis tries to change events for the better in one episode, but makes things worse, and in Simon's case, his powers make him a stranger, more damaged individual.

In fact, for me, Iwan Rheon as Simon is the standout performer in the first series- you can almost feel Simon's loneliness, isolation and desperation to belong. 

What's worse for the Misfits is that other people in the area (which I think is London's distinctive Thamesmead estate) are also affected by the storm. Their community worker becomes a crazed zombie psycho, there's a great episode where a sexy blonde girl takes a shine to Nathan, but she's not quite what she seems, and in another episode,  a do-gooding teenager gets super-charisma, and begins to control everyones minds.

It has the flavour of an anarchist X-Men drawn by a pissed Banksy. (You get me? It's sick, as young-uns say...or am I using outdated cultural slang again? I'll get my coat.) 

If you missed it, either because it looked a bit too teenage, or because it was on E4, I can't recommend it highly enough - all the first season episodes are on 4OD, so you have no excuse.

Along with Sherlock  it's proof that we can produce good, adventure drama here in the UK (instead of endless cliched costume dramas, aaargh!).

* By the way, I'd like to take credit for the phrase "ASBO X-men, but I think the Guardian coined it first.

The Walking Dead...er...walk on.

AMC has already renewed The Walking Dead for a second season. Not really surprising, regarding it had a best debut for any cable show ever in the states.

Here's a pointless quote from the head of AMC...

“The ‘Dead’ has spread!” said Charlie Collier, President, AMC. “No other cable series has ever attracted as many Adults 18-49 as The Walking Dead. This reaffirms viewers’ hunger for premium television on basic cable. We are so proud to be bringing back The Dead again, across the globe.”

So there you go. I watched the second episode last night, followed by the latest episode of Dexter. Needless to say, I squealed like a little girl all the way through, and afterwards I needed a lie-down in a darkened room, and half a junior dispirin. I even considered sleeping with the light on.

Several sharp slaps later from my GLW, and being told to stop being Mr Soggy-pants, I have to tell you that the tension continues to be ramped-up throughout episode 2, which is called "Guts". It doesn't take a brain surgeon (or abdominal surgeon, boom boom!) to work out why.



It's so gross at one point, that the only dialogue from all the cast members for a good three minutes consists of a single word: "ewwwwwwww!"

I'm lovin' it. Someone in my regular job called me a sicko the other day (because I watched "Drag me to Hell" on the train into work). They're probably right.