When you play the Game of Thrones, you win, or you die.

It's been a while, mainly because we're in the long dry spell for US TV, while they work out what's worked this year - the Walking Dead, Broadwalk Empire, and what didn't - the unloved Event and Rubicon, which I confess, I liked and watched, but I always seemed to fall asleep in the middle of each episode (not a good sign). One programme that's had my attention since day one is Game of Thrones.


      

I'll come back to that title sequence in a mo - first up, let me make something absolutely clear.

I thought I was going to hate it

Fantasy pretty much leaves me cold.

Yes, I read The Hobbit when I was 10, and endured a few hours of Dungeons and Dragons as a teenager (for the love of God, why? It wasn't my idea, and I hated every single second)

So, I had no intention whatsoever of watching this show when I saw the Sky trailers,  despite the promise of gratuitous nudity, heaving bosoms and guaranteed shagging (Spartacus Blood-and Sand-style) in every episode. It's based on the Song of Fire and Ice novels by the US author George RR Martin, and there's a reason why it's like crack for fantasy saddos, having sold more than six million copies in the states and 7 million worldwide,

It's simply bloody good. Fantasy without any of the crap.

No Elves, Orcs, Wizards, bloody boring walking trees, here be dragons, hey nonny nonny, chunky jumpers, open-toed sandals, "hey look, I've named my house Rivendell" big orange eye-in-the-sky bad Smeagol shite. Someone recently described the show as "The Sopranos in Middle Earth" but it's better than that. Chances are that if you like Battlestar, The Godfather or Goodfellas, are you'll like this.
It's set in the mythical Kingdom of Westeros, which looks a bit like this:

It's like a large, stereotypical version of the UK, with extreme weather, frozen, haunted wastes north of a giant wall,  a grim north (seriously), a despicable, backstabbing and hot south, mad weird lands of the east, and rich and vicious westerners.
The land's made up of seven warring lands barely held together by King Robert Baratheon, played by the magnificent Mark Addy. He's clearly wasted in those crappy Tesco adverts. Just look at him here. Wot a geezer.



As I mentioned a moment ago, there are 7 kingdoms run by different families, each with banners, showing a different animal and family sayings for each (see below)

You get the idea - now scroll back up again and rewatch the title sequence vid. The banners next to the name of each actor are set, according to their house (and I think the one of the Queen and the Heir to the throne, change from the Baratheon stag to Lannister lion, because they're both). Each family also has very strong physical characteristics. The title map sequence also changes each time we're introduced to a new place that's integral to the plot. I like little touches like that.

Hmm. I seriously think my OCD is playing up.

There's a cracking, Brit-heavy cast, led by Sean Bean (or as my in-laws call him, Seen Been) as Lord Edard (Ned) Stark. Basically he rules the North, and is the most honourable man in existence - and as Mr T would say, he's a damn fool. Frankly old Sean's not Sharpe anymore, but is still clearly a bit of a chap and a hard bastard in real life. He got punched and stabbed outside a pub this week while defending his woman's honour - but felt nowt).

The rest of the cast is a bloody treat, Lena Headey does her angry tuff (unloved) Queen-bit again (unloved by the King, that is), Her father is played by a very scary Charles Dance and the fantastic Peter Dinklage is her younger brother Tyrion (the Imp), who literally steals every single scene he's in. That man has never been bad in anything he's done.      

Anyway, catch it while you can - it's brilliant.